Let It Out
by unlikelyRLshipper
Summary: D/L. Danny and Lindsay have some things to discuss. Based on spoilers for season 6, so don't read if you're spoiler free. Title and story based on the George Canyon song of the same name, but this isn't a songfic.
1. Lindsay

**Hello again everybody!! To begin with, I want to thank everyone who read and reviewed my previous story. I'm glad that people responded positively towards it, because it was a first for me (but hopefully not the only darker fic from me!)**

**This is the _last_ story I have that deals with 5.25/Season 6 spoilers, I promise!!!! So, for the last time, if you're spoiler-free, don't continue reading. This is a oneshot, but it made the most sense to divide it into 3 parts, each one dealing with a seperate element. If that's confusing, it will become clearer when you read it.**

**I don't own CSI:NY or the song _Let It Out _(which belongs to George Canyon). However, I do own any and all mistakes.**

**And FYI, this is the first of 3 stories I want to put out before the premiere next week, so you're going to be seeing me a lot around here. Hope nobody gets sick of me!!!!!!!!!!**

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**Let It Out**

_Let it out_

_Let it all out_

_Don't hold back_

_Let it fall to the ground_

_Lay your head on my shoulder_

_I'm here for you right now_

_Whatever your heart's feeling, baby_

_Let it out _

_~Let It Out, by George Canyon_

Mac Taylor was on his way to visit Lindsay at her apartment, wondering if there was anything he could do to help her while Danny was still in the hospital, but more importantly he had come to tell her that until a schedule of people to look in on Danny and Lucy when he left the hospital in a few days was established, she would not have to work in the lab. Everyone there was more than willing to pick up the slack in the absence of the 2 CSIs until they were ready to return to work.

Mac approached the door and as he raised his hand to knock, he could hear Lucy wailing on the other side. Waiting until the crying quieted a bit, he quickly knocked. The door opened and Lindsay appeared, looking on the verge of tears herself and as if she hadn't slept at all in weeks.

Lindsay didn't bother to ask what her boss was doing at her home, gesturing for him to enter before turning to go get Lucy, whose cries had increased in volume again. Before she could move too far, Mac stopped her with a hand on her shoulder and instead headed in the direction of the cries.

Mac found his upset goddaughter lying in a bassinet on the other side of the apartment. Leaning over to pick her up, he placed her on his shoulder and started to sway slightly, humming random notes in an attempt to quiet her. If Lindsay hadn't been so worn out herself, she would have been better able to remark on the sight of her former Marine boss with the tiny infant, but she could only look on and hope that Lucy would calm down.

On Mac's shoulder, Lucy's cries slowly turned into whimpers and she settled onto Mac's shoulder, grabbing the fabric of his shirt in her tiny fist. Worried that she would become upset again if she was put down, Mac walked with Lucy over toward the couch, where Lindsay had collapsed of exhaustion.

"Thanks Mac. She refused to settle today, I think it's because she misses Danny. This has happened before, and as soon as she was handed off to Danny, she stopped crying and went right to sleep."

"It's no trouble Lindsay. I'm sure missing Danny is part of it, but I think she may also be picking up on your exhaustion and anxiety. I know it may seem impossible right now, but you need to calm yourself down and take care of yourself because if you don't, you're not really going to be of any good to Lucy." Mac tried to sound as non-judgemental as he could, hoping his concern wouldn't be confused with admonishment.

"I know, Mac, but there's just so much right now – Lucy, Danny and everything he's gonna need, our jobs…"

"Lindsay, don't worry about work, that's why I came here in the first place. Everybody in the lab wants to help you and Danny, so we're all going to be covering your shifts, and if I need to, I'll get a loaner CSI from Jersey PD. Until Danny is out of the hospital and settled here with people to look in on him, I'm not even putting you on the schedule. And once that's in place, I'm still only putting you on part-time. Look, Lindsay, you already have enough to think about, OK?"

"Mac…"

"It's already done, there's no re-negotiating. We look after our own and this little one needs both her parents at their best, and that means having both you and Danny focusing on what's most important: her, Danny's recovery, and your health and well-being."

Looking over his shoulder, Mac could see that his goddaughter had finally gone to sleep. He got up off the couch and placed Lucy back in the bassinet, replacing the blanket over her body. With one last glance at Lucy, he turned back to Lindsay and spoke again.

"If there's anything you three need, you just have to ask. Me, Stella, Hawkes, Sid, Adam, even Flack with what he's trying to deal with right now, we all just want to do whatever we can to help you and Danny. We're all not just co-workers and friends, we're family."

Lindsay looked at Mac and her face looked pained. She was struggling to get some semblance of control over her emotions, but the toll was just too much for her. Mac sat down on the couch again, placing his hand on her shoulder to get her to look at him.

"It's OK Lindsay, you can let go. I'll catch you."

Lindsay could see the warm side of Mac emerging at that moment, the side of himself that he shared with for those he really cared about, and she came undone. She lunged forward and buried her head on Mac's shoulder, gripping tightly to the back of his shirt, and sobbed.

Still slightly taken aback by the force of Lindsay's emotions, but guessing that she had been holding everything in since Angell's death and Danny's shooting, Mac simply ran his hand up and down her back and let her cry it all out.

Fifteen minutes later, Mac felt the grip on his shirt loosen. Lindsay's tears had finally subsided. Leaning sideways a bit, he grabbed the tissue box on the coffee table and handed it to Lindsay as she pulled away from him, accepting the box with a watery smile.

"Sorry about your shirt Mac," Lindsay said as she tried to flatten out the damp shoulder of his shirt.

"Don't worry, I dry. Besides, I consider it a badge on honour, now the entire Messer family has used my shoulders for tissues at one time or another." Lindsay could tell from Mac's face that he was completely serious about his statement. "You can make it up to me though."

"How?"

"Let me make some coffee for myself, channel surf on your TV and look after Lucy while you go lie down for a while."

"Mac, you've already done enough…"

"I'm on shift in a couple of hours, I'll wake you up before then, don't worry."

"But…"

Mac silenced her by throwing a hand up between them. "Don't argue with me, Detective. I'm your boss."

"Alright, you win, _sir_."

Mac smirked at her defiance-laced answer. "Don't call me sir."

Lindsay smiled smartly back at him. "Coffee's on the counter, mugs are…"

"I can figure it out Lindsay, now go and rest before you fall down."

Unexpectedly, Lindsay leaned forward to kiss Mac on the cheek before getting up off the couch. She stopped before leaving the living room and turned back to a still-shocked Mac.

"You know, Mac, I don't think there's anyone else I'd rather have as Lucy's godfather than you."

Lindsay disappeared without another word, leaving Mac both speechless and deeply touched. Making sure Lucy was still asleep, he headed into the kitchen to make some coffee.


	2. Danny

Stella decided to visit Danny on his last day in the hospital before being released. Walking by the window of his room, she was happy to see that Danny was by himself, seemingly lost in his own world.

"Hey Danny."

"Stella, what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you before you went home. Are they still releasing you tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"That's good. Is Lindsay at home now?"

"Yeah, she was here with my mom and Lucy a couple of hours ago."

"Well, I'm sure Lucy loved seeing her daddy and her daddy loved seeing her just as much."

Expecting Danny to go into proud papa mode and gush all about Lucy, Stella was surprised when he just nodded and looked away.

"Thanks for coming by, Stel, but I'm kinda tired now, so I'm gonna take a nap."

Stella wasn't convinced in the slightest.

In fact, she hadn't been honest with him. She had come to see him, yes, but she was on a mission to talk to him. And she had called Lindsay before coming over, just to check that he wasn't going to be out of his room for testing or anything else, and Lindsay told her it would be OK, adding that she had been there earlier and they left an hour later when Danny fell asleep.

"Danny, tell me what's wrong."

"Nothin's wrong, I'm just tired."

"Danny, I know for a fact you had a nap about 2 hours ago, so I think you want to fake nap so I'll leave you alone. C'mon Danny, I'm a CSI by trade and a damn good one at that, plus you and Lindsay both are pretty bad liars."

Danny finally turned back to face Stella. "What do you mean, we're both bad liars?"

"Well, I know you're lying right now," the sheepish look on Danny's face was proof enough for Stella, "and with Lindsay, she asked me early in her pregnancy, as the lab's safety officer, about working with chemicals while pregnant, saying that it was for a 'friend'. After fishing around for some info on the baby's father, who she said was great but not really ready for all of it, she confirmed my suspicions that it was you and her."

Danny was a little shocked by this tidbit. "Lindsay never told me about this."

"Well, you guys told everyone your good news the next day and she was completely embarrassed when I said that it was such a coincidence that both she and her 'friend' were pregnant at the same time." Danny chuckled, despite his dark mood.

Sitting down in the chair next to his bed, Stella took his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Tell Stella what's wrong."

Hesitantly, Danny complied. "I don't know if I want to go home. I mean, I wanna get the hell outta this place and be back with my wife and daughter, but as long as I'm here, I can be looked after without being a burden on my family."

"Danny, nobody thinks you're a burden, least of all Lindsay and Lucy. They just want you back where you belong – at home with them – we all want that."

"C'mon Stella, you've seen Lindsay, she don't look good right now. She's not eatin' or sleepin' and she looks like she's been cryin' for a week straight. That's all while she's not even having to take care of me too."

Stella knew exactly what Danny meant: Lindsay was stressed out to the limit at the moment, and Mac had told her about what had happened a couple of days ago when he went to see her. But, she also thought she knew a little more about what was bothering Lindsay.

"Danny, I think that you'll see Lindsay improve once you're back at home. Even though you're gonna be on the mend for months, I don't think that fact that you're OK and not going to die will completely sink in until you're out of here."

Danny began to shake his head. "I don't know Stella…"

At this point, Stella got out of the chair and paced the floor at the end of his bed. Danny had no idea what had just happened. "What'd I do? Stel?"

"Don't you 'Stel' me, Messer. You're not the only Messer I'm annoyed with at the moment. You know, you and Lindsay are perfect for each other: neither of you knows how to talk to the other one about what you're going through. Sometimes, I just wanna knock both your heads together. You make things so much more difficult just because you won't open your mouths."

"Stella…"

Stella stopped and quickly turned to face Danny. "You be quiet and listen. You ARE going home tomorrow and everything WILL be okay. The two of you WILL talk and you WILL make sure that both of you clear the air. You WILL share your feelings with one another and then you WILL move forward and face the future together with hope and optimism. If you don't, I swear I will take that beautiful daughter of yours and turn her against the both of you in retaliation – don't think I won't, because I will and I'll have her godfather on my side too."

If Danny could have moved at the moment, he would have been running for the hills as quickly as he could. "OK, you're right, I know you are. I promise that I'll talk to Lindsay and make sure she talks to me too."

"Swear on Lucy's life."

Danny was surprised by the request, because it was not something he would ever want to joke around about. "That's not fair Stella."

Her eyes flared at him. "I know, but I also know that you wouldn't fool around with something like that."

Danny realized that Stella had been trying to trap him all along. He gave in. "Alright, I swear on our daughter's life that Lindsay and I will talk when I go home tomorrow."

As quickly as Stella's frustration had flared up, it disappeared and her face softened. "Thank you Danny. Now tell me all about Lucy's visit this morning."

This time, Danny went into proud papa mode and gave a second by second account of his earlier visit. When that was done, Stella caught him up on what they knew about the bar shootout, which was little. As Danny was just about to ask about Flack, Stella's pager went off. She looked down at the screen.

"That's Mac, I gotta go in early."

"OK, thanks for coming. I really needed the kick in the ass."

"It was my pleasure," Stella replied with a smirk. "Now, I'll come and see you again when you're settled back at home."

Danny nodded. "You're always looking out for me – well, all of us really. I don't know where we'd all be without you."

"Completely and utterly lost. You'd do the same for me, we're family, we look out for one another."

"Thank you Stella."

"You're welcome Danny."

She leaned in to kiss him on the cheek before leaving the room, stealing one last glance at him, pleased that he looked more at peace.

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Stella waited until she was outside the hospital to call Mac back.

"Hey Stella, Hawkes is on his way to pick you up at the hospital, the crime scene's not that far from there. Did you talk to him?"

"Yeah, he swore on Lucy that he and Lindsay were gonna talk when he got home."

"You made him swear on Lucy?!" Even over the phone, Stella could pick up Mac's surprised tone.

"Yes I did. I figured he would chicken out if I didn't make him swear on Lucy. It's low, but they're both stubborn and needed the prodding," she responded, somewhat defiantly.

"OK, you can fill me in when you get back to the lab. I've got another call and I'm pretty sure it's Sinclair."

"What did you do Mac?" Stella asked in a knowing tone.

"Well, I might have said something about the bar shootout to Reid that he posted on his blog, something Sinclair may not be happy about."

Stella chuckled. "You're definitely filling me in on that when I get back to the lab. I'll let you take the call, Hawkes is here. Bye Mac."

"Bye Stella."


	3. Both

Danny was finally back at home, and to say that Lindsay was relieved would be an understatement.

Getting from the hospital to their apartment had taken a toll on Danny, so she had helped him get onto their bed so he could rest. Though it was still early in the evening, Lindsay had decided to get herself ready for bed because she planned on hanging out with Danny and Lucy for the rest of the night, and she didn't want to have to drag herself out of bed again to get ready.

Lindsay asked Danny if he was OK to look after Lucy while she showered, and Danny said he was good to go. Putting Lucy back in her car seat and strapping her in, which she wasn't thrilled about, Lindsay put the seat in the middle of their bed where Danny could reach before going into the bathroom.

Emerging from her shower, she threw her robe on and checked on the pair, not surprised to find Lucy free from her car seat and now lying on Danny's shoulder, reaching out to explore her daddy's face as he babbled away at her. She knew how much he had missed Lucy, and she could tell that Lucy had missed him as well. Lindsay figured that Danny was still OK to watch her, so she went back into the bathroom to dry her hair and put her pyjamas on.

She hadn't been more than five minutes, but when she finally left the bathroom, both her husband and daughter had fallen asleep. Smiling to herself, Lindsay went to take Lucy from Danny when he started to stir and protest.

"Danny, I know you're exhausted from the trip. Stop fighting it. I promise, Lucy's all yours tomorrow."

"Linds, we have to talk."

"Danny, it can wait until the morning."

"But I…"

"Shhh, go back to sleep." Shifting Lucy, Lindsay leaned down to place a kiss to his lips. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Lindsay took Lucy back to her side of the bed and watched her daughter sleep while she waited for Danny to go back to sleep. When he finally did, she put Lucy down in her crib in the nursery and checked that everything in the apartment was in order before rejoining Danny on their bed.

Lindsay lied down a distance away from Danny and listened to him breathe in and out, never so happy to hear the slight snore escaping his mouth. Finally relaxed, Lindsay started to slip into sleep herself when she heard slight whimpering and the beginning of tears. For once, she knew it wasn't her. She listened closely to the baby monitor, but only heard Lucy breathing normally. Leaving only one possibility, Lindsay turned and saw that the sounds were in fact coming from Danny, who was still asleep.

Lindsay sat up on the bed and moved closer to Danny, placing one hand on his cheek and the other over his racing heart. "Danny, wake up, it's just a dream."

Danny's eyes remained closed, but he spoke. "Please, Lindsay, don't leave me."

Lindsay knew that he was speaking to dream Lindsay, but she answered him anyways. "I'm right here, Dan. I'm not going anywhere, babe."

Danny's eyes finally opened and his hands trapped Lindsay's where they currently were as he continued to cry. Somehow, he managed to stumble through telling her what he had been seeing.

"We were back in the bar just after the shots stopped. I started to get up and I looked down and a red stain was blossoming on your chest. You were still conscious and you told me to look after Lucy and you told me that you loved me and then…and then you were gone."

Danny's tears were now falling silently, and while he expected Lindsay to start trying to comfort him, he was surprised to see her trying to struggle with her own tears. Danny placed pressure on both of his hands to get Lindsay's attention and asked, "Linds, tell me what you're seeing right now. Have you been having the same kind of dream, just with the roles reversed?"

Lindsay didn't speak, but she nodded her head. Danny put pressure again on the hand over his heart, trying to show her that he was still there – a bit broken, but still alive.

"OK, we are talking right now, this can't wait any longer." Lindsay looked up at him in confusion and was about to protest when Danny straight cut her off. "We can't keep doing this to ourselves Linds. If we're gonna make it through all this, we're gonna need each other. If we're gonna survive, we can't keep bottling everything up and not say anything to one another.

"I was reluctant to come home from the hospital because you already had so much to deal with without taking care of me. I know you swore 'in sickness and in health' Linds, but this is above and beyond. I wouldn't blame you if you couldn't handle it all. I don't want to burden you."

"As long as you're alive, you'll never be a burden on me or on Lucy. You're not to blame for being stuck in a wheelchair temporarily. And I'm handling everything OK," she said with a bit of defiance.

Danny looked at her skeptically. "Lindsay, it would only be news to you if I said that you're not handling all of this well. You're not eating or sleeping, and you're trapped on this nasty rollercoaster of emotions. Nobody, least of all me, thinks any less of you because you're struggling right now. No one person should have to have to shoulder this much responsibility all by themselves. And you don't need to, because I'm here to help."

"Danny, you need to focus on healing…"

"…and I'm not going to have an easy time of it if I know that you're stressed out unnecessarily. We've got to work together at this or we're never gonna make it through." Lindsay nodded. "I've got to ask you a question, Linds, something that Stella brought up. While I was still in the hospital, but out of danger, were you still worried that something was gonna happen to me, that I was somehow gonna be snatched out from under you? Has that be fuelling some of your stress?" Lindsay nodded again and Danny sighed. "You should have said something."

Lindsay looked at him pointedly. "There was nothing you could've said which would have helped me – that feeling only left me, finally, in the past few hours with you back here with me and Lucy. It seems so ridiculous: I knew that you were gonna live, there was no question about it, and yet I still couldn't stop this nagging voice in my head from saying that you were gonna get worse, that you were gonna…gonna…"

Danny supplied the word that Lindsay couldn't say. "Die."

Lindsay's tears fell freely now, and Danny tried to comfort her as best as he could from his current position, when he desperately wanted to envelop her body with his own to show her he wasn't going anywhere.

"That wouldn't have happened Lindsay."

"You can't say that. You don't get to choose when it's your time."

"Yes I can and I wouldn't have left you and Lucy, not when I only just got you both."

Lindsay shook her head at Danny's absurd comment. "Be realistic Danny."

"I am," he replied with utter determination. "There was no way in hell that I was gonna give up living, no matter how bad I got hurt. Besides, there's no way you would have let me go either because I know without a doubt that if I had died, you would have crossed over just to drag my ass back to the land of the living so you could, in turn, love me and beat the shit out of me."

Lindsay was both surprised and not by his statement because however unreal the scenario, she couldn't deny that she would try to find a way to do exactly that, and she knew he would do the same for her.

"Look, I know it's not gonna be easy to do Lindsay, but can you promise me that you'll try not to think anymore about what could've happened, that you'll ask me to help you if you need it, and that you'll talk to me, about anything, even if you just want to vent at me for being stuck in the chair. I don't care what you say so long as you're not afraid to say it."

"I can try, but I put the exact same challenge to you. If you don't want me to shut you out, you have to not shut me out either. Even when you blame me for you being in the chair after a hard therapy session, you need to say it out loud. You were right about us needing to talk and we have to just keep trying to talk to one another. That's how we'll make it through all this."

"You should be thankin' Stella, not me."

Lindsay looked confused for a second, and then everything clicked into place in her head. "It appears, Mr. Messer, that we've been set up. Let me guess, Stella made you swear that you'd talk to me and that you'd have me talk to you too?"

"Yeah, she did, but I knew we needed to talk before that." Danny's tone indicated that he thought Lindsay was mad at him. She quickly reassured him.

"Relax, Danny, I'm not mad – we did need to talk and we both knew it, but the gentle push was also needed. Well, I think that Stella was motivated by what Mac told her about my meltdown." Danny winced at the idea of Lindsay breaking down that badly without him there to comfort her, but he was happy that Mac had been there to support her.

He could see now that she was completely right. "What are we gonna do about them?"

"We'll deal with them in the morning. Let's go back to sleep." They shared another kiss and Lindsay started to go back to her side of the bed when Danny stopped her. She turned back to him and watched as he spread his arms out and hitched his head toward his side of the bed, using his eyes to convey the rest of the message.

With absolutely no hesitation, Lindsay scooted close to Danny and very carefully lay down on her side next to him, her body close to his side but putting no pressure on his body. Intertwining their hands, they shared a goodnight kiss before sharing the same pillow and closing their eyes.

That night, they both finally slept soundly, finding the peace and comfort they had been lacking, reassured by their closeness.

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The next day, Mac came back to his office from a crime scene to find an envelope on his desk. It read: MAC AND STELLA – PLEASE OPEN TOGETHER. Stella chose the perfect moment to step into his office.

Seeing the envelope in his hand, and curiosity on his face, she asked, "What's that?"

"A note addressed to the both of us."

Coming to stand beside him, she said, "Go ahead and open it." He did, and pulled out a blank note card. Opening the card, they both read the message inside:

MAC AND STELLA,

THANK YOU.

DANNY AND LINDSAY

Mac looked over at Stella, seeing the tears forming in her eyes. Reaching out for her hand, he squeezed it and turned his attention back to the card.

Nothing more was needed.

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**Thanks for reading!!!!!!!!**


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